so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
