I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
