porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I lost the right to judge tonight
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize