It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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