I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
it's like iHOP with fire
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
