He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Of course I have a pirate flag
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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