matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
You're a disaster
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