no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
