I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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