Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
