I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
