just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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