I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
