I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Randomize
