and she was petting her beer can
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
it's great music for shaving your balls
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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