we're blogging at a bar
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize