I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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