I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Randomize
