Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
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