You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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