I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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