Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
i now understand why vodka
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
