how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize