My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
