Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
