i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
