so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
