so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
