sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
