Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize