that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I just found puke in my bra..
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
