I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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