we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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