I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
