I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
His hands were made for my vagina.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
