I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
