I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
