You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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