I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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