billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Randomize
