okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
