We're facebook friends in real life
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
