Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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