I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
