ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
