I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
