that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
