Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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