she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
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