from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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