Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
