planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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