fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
