I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
i've created a new STD.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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