I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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