Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
