yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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