We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Randomize
