I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
