at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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